So you know the childhood song from Children's church? The one that was so fun to sing, especially in a round, especially when the boys split from the girls to sing different parts? This one?
Heaven is a wonderful place, filled with glory and grace.
I want to see my Savior's face because Heaven is a wonderful place.
(I want to go there)
It is so simple. Heaven is perfect and I want to go there. Well, cancer is one way in. I'm not sure how else to put it, though my happy-go-lucky childhood song has turned into a plea for mercy.
I cry out, for Your hand of mercy to heal me.
I am weak, how I need Your love to free me.
Oh Lord, my rock, my strength in weakness,
Come rescue me, Oh Lord.
You are my hope, and Your promise never fails me,
And my desire is to follow You forever.
For You are good,
For You are good,
For You are good to me.
*********************************************************************************
So a newly acquired, yet incredibly dear friend of mine asked if I blogged. Do I blog? I used to blog. I blogged when life was much more simple, though for the past few weeks, starting a new blog has been on my mind. I need an fresh outlet for a new life I am starting.
As of December 30th, 2009 I am a diagnosed cancer 'victim.' I was diagnosed with Myxoid Liposarcoma. I can't exactly say much about it right now other than I am constantly anxious and terrified.
I know Heaven is a wonderful place, and I do want to go there, though I am not sure I am ready at this point in my life. I feel like I still have so much to do, so much to fulfill and I still have things to work out. I feel like I have not completed many of the tasks God has set before me in my life.
This form of cancer is somewhat rare and serious. Pray hard to God that I will overcome it. I have read many stories of this cancer and have read few positive outcomes. This will be a hard battle.
I wrote to a friend a while ago that I had 'lived more than most people,' that 'Heaven won't be so bad anyway.' I still believe that, but I still believe I have unfinished business here on Earth. I did make my boyfriend, Virgil, promise me that no matter what happens, he will continue going to church and continue finding God and that he will get baptized because I want to see him in Heaven.
Sometimes, I want to be like Job. I need prayers to be strong.
Psalm 25:4-5
Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
I'm so glad you started a blog. I think it is a beautiful way to share your journey, and a precious way for you to be able to look back and see the ways in which God has moved in your life.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely remember that song fondly, but you're right, it's sung with such innocence. Of course we want to go there, but God has also given us a love for this life. He has granted us a place and purpose in this world. And you're spot on, He is not done with you yet; this may be the beginning of new amazing ways God plans to work in you.
I of course pray that God will bring immense physically healing, but I will also pray for mighty glimpses of Him along the way. I will also pray for His glory to shine in and through you. And I pray that He is your hope, that His promises and mercies are new to you each day.
Much love and many hugs.